It’s funny how the procrastinating brain just craves the opposite of whatever it’s currently got going on at any given time. I am literally never better at coming up with Other Shit than when I’m trying to get something done. Like a cat trying to walk UP away from an uncomfortable surface, the mind spins a preferable scenario out of whole cloth, no matter what’s going on. Any old whole cloth will do!

Writing in the living room? That won’t do, go to the bedroom.
Turn off the lights.
Turn on the lights.
Turn on… half the lights.
Don’t use the laptop, try the desktop.
Okay now go outside and have a walk.
Go to a cafe, but do not go to a cafe under any circumstances.
You’re going to want to be at home, but also not in the house. In total darkness and silence.
Turn off all the lights again. Switch rooms two more times.
Calculate magnetic North, consult a star chart. Pet the cat. What phase of the moon is it. Face only west.
Drink 2.5 beers to make yourself a Good Writer, but absolutely no more than that or you’ll fling yourself past the eye of the storm and out the other side, and not be able to get anything done for the rest of the day.
Open all drapes, close all drapes. Briefly consider buying new drapes.
Eagerly anticipate washroom breaks, the phone ringing, a strange noise from outside: literally anything to keep yourself from having to write anything at all. Pray for these minor inconveniences. Welcome them with an enthusiasm usually reserved for personal accomplishment.

The proper Set is vital, after all.

Remember: whenever you aren’t writing, you’re going to not want to be writing. And that’s what really counts. I think.

Anyways, I should probably get back to work.

  • L